the force is actually made out of transgender discourse particles

While taking the train to Chicago, the conductor's voice came out of the intercom between stops three and four and said, "I think I qualify for my dentistry degree." No one responded or even seemed to notice and I wondered if I had finally lost my mind. Soon after, a group of teenage skaters boarded to ride the rails and forced me to make puns. They were rowdy at first but settled down when two strange young men sat next to them a few stops later. One of them had his head shaved except for his bangs, which were dyed black, and he wore a rainbow striped shirt with purple pants and combat boots. He was probably making a statement. The other looked like he was just getting back from riding 4-wheelers with his cousins. He had a chinstrap beard, which was really his only defining characteristic other than his piercing voice. An odd couple; one had a loud outfit, the other had a loud voice. Immediately after taking their seats, the beard started talking (loudly, of course). The conversation started with the question, "You know 'Empire Strikes Back' right?" I settled in for a good nerd conversation, but two sentences later, I heard the phrase "transgender politics" and realized I might be in trouble. He went on and on like he was trying to impress the entire train with the knowledge he gained in five weeks of women's studies and philosophy classes. He named dropped feminist authors and used the words "trans" and "society" and "culture" and "discourse" but it was obvious he had no idea what he was talking about. "Like, its my body...why should SOCIETY have any SAY in what I DO with it?" he would say. The youngest of the skaters, a boy no older than twelve, was sitting closest to them and had a confused and disturbed look on his face. He just wasn't ready to hear about the philosophy of "trans culture," I guess. 

There were a lot of questions running through my head when I disembarked. Why didn't the rainbow shirt say anything? Was he saying enough with his outfit? What were the skaters thinking as they sat quietly and listened to an uninformed college sophomore? HOW DID THE CONVERSATION NATURALLY GO FROM 'STAR WARS' TO TRANSGENDER CULTURE IN UNDER TWENTY SECONDS?? These are going to be mysteries forever. But as the trip concluded, there was only one question that mattered: Why didn't everyone clap when the conductor made his dentistry announcement? Train conductor to dentist is a pretty awesome career path, you know.