dog garbage because writing is horrible

Clearly I've had writers block for months now, so it's time to work it out by writing some scenarios.

A dog walks into a bank while it is being robbed by two guys in black and white striped shirts. Everyone looks at the dog and laughs because dogs don't have money. Then the robbers get serious again. One robber puts his gun in the tellers face and demands ALL OF THE MONEY. Somehow the dog is a cop. Thats the end. That didn't work out. Try again.

Two guys are robbing a bank. There are no dogs in the bank. One robber puts his gun in the tellers face and demands ALL OF THE MONEY. She complies. The robbers run out of the bank laughing and carrying bags with dollar signs on them. Their get away car pulls up. The driver is a dog. Both the robbers start screaming, but the dog is calm. "Get in," says the dog. "What happened to Lopez?" asks the robber. "He had to go to a wedding," said the dog, putting on sunglasses, "Also, I'm a ghost." I feel like this is getting better. We're close now. We're going to break through this block together. We're going to be like Mario, breaking a block to save the princess. Then Mario finds out the princess was his daughter from the future and everyone throws up. Awful. Next.

Two guys rob a bank. As they are escaping, one of them is shot. They go to the safe house to wait for the rest of the gang. Both robbers think they've been sold out by someone on the inside. As the other members arrive, everyone is suspicious of everyone else. "Which one of you bastards sold us out?" they keep asking. No one knows. The robber who was shot is dying, but no one cares except the robber who escaped with him. Suddenly the cops show up and start shooting. The dying robber looks at his friend and says "Hey man, I gotta tell you something." He pulls off his face and it turns out he is a dog. "Also, I'm a cop" he says.  His friend is pissed that he's a cop, but then he pulls off his face and he is also a dog. They both die in a reservoir. Wait. Wait...shit. This isn't working out at all. This is like that time when you were a kid on vacation and that goddamn monkey broke your dads favorite watch but everyone blamed you. Then the monkey tells you that if you ever tell anyone the truth, he's going to find where you live and break more stuff. But you know that if he ever shows his face in your hometown, you and your crew are gonna wreck him. You hate that monkey. THIS IS WHAT WRITING IS LIKE FOR ME NOW BYE.

your best is always just mediocre

I thought it might be funny to try my hardest at drawing. So I got some paper and did my best to draw a few different subjects from memory. My thought process being "trying my best and failing horribly will be pretty funny." Unfortunately, like most things in life it just turned out alright. It's not the worst, but it isn't remotely good either. Just on the shitty side of meh. Anyway, I thought it would be stupid to let them go to waste, so now I'm going to waste your time.

First, a rhino. I remembered that rhinos have some armor plating so I tried to do that, but it didn't really work out. I added some grass and birds and the Sun to show it was in Africa, because I'm stupid.

Next I tried a kangaroo with a joey. I added that big rock and some birds and the Sun to show it was in Australia.

Moving away from the animal theme, here is a witch casting a spell on a cat. I added the moon because I was getting lazy already. STILL TRYING MY BEST, THOUGH~

This is when things started to get weird. I messed up the angle on King Arthur's arm so pretend he just stabbed someone with Excalibur out of frame. The horse was an afterthought because his legs looked weird. Also, apparently I can only draw things facing left. I added some clouds and an archer to show it was in England.

Here we have a scene from the Nickelodeon show Clarissa Explains it All. Clarissa's friend Sam is arriving by ladder and I hope he doesn't step in Elvis' terrarium!!! Offscreen, Ferguson is being an ass and Marshall is calling someone Sport. ALL FROM MEMORY, FOLKS.

Lastly, I tried to draw Harry Potter but I messed up his hair so I made it Harold Potter: Jewish Wizard™ If you remove the scar and text, it looks like a homeless Santa harassing some kid. I didn't try my best on this one and that's why it's my favorite. 

I didn't try my best on this post, either. SEE YOU AGAIN IN A FEW MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!