I thought I saw a fox today. So, like any other normal human being with "free time," I went on Wikipedia to learn more about this mysterious creature that I maybe saw.
Okay, so, the fox. WHOOPS. All aboard the wikitrain, folks! First of all, I'm amazed that the animal comes up by default and not the corporation. You would think Rupert Murdoch would take care of that, but no. Second, why does "Vixen" redirect here? Oh, its a female fox. THIS IS SERIOUSLY HOW I LEARN STUFF. Moving on...
HEY, DID YOU KNOW that members of 37 species are referred to as foxes, but only 12 species belong to the Vulpes genus of "TRUE FOXES?" What is a "true fox" and can I impress people by pointing at a certain kind of fox and saying, "ah yes, Professor, that is a true fox of the vulpes genus. Quite beautiful." Apparently the red fox is the most common true fox and therefore most likely what I possibly saw maybe.
NOPE. Though he was known to pop out of tall grass from time to time, this is not the correct red fox. I WISH IT WAS.
YUUP. This is EXACTLY what I saw while driving down my street today. A fox fighting a giant vulture in the snow. And then I spent 15 minutes looking through Google image results for various phrases and forgot I was writing this stupid thing about Wikipedia. So anyway, red foxes are- wait, what's a Bengal fox? Oh, they look shitty and skinny and not bad ass like the tiger or football team. Man, bengals.com is a worthless site in the off season. Every time I go there, there should be a big banner that says "DON'T WORRY, THEY'LL SOMEHOW BE AWESOME THIS YEAR IF THERE IS FOOTBALL" with flashing GIFs of touchdown catches and sparkle letters everywhere. It should also be a geocities site. Does geocities even exist anymore? According to Wikipedia, it only exists in Japan now.
HEY, DID YOU KNOW that Japan is home to two subspecies of red fox and that the Japanese have myths about foxes that are over fifteen hundred years old??? Apparently, many of these legends can be traced to Chinese fox myths or huli jing. Wikipedia also tells me that in China, the term huli jing is a "derogatory expression describing a woman who seduces a married or otherwise romantically-involved man (i.e., a 'home wrecker')." So even though I still don't know if I saw a fox today, I somehow learned how to insult a Chinese woman. Isn't that What Really Matters™ in the end?
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| Check out this slutty vixen |
